Wednesday, 13 November 2013

How to Be a True Friend - And How to Spot One


By Gail Billing

·         Friends Accept You For Who You Are - We don't try to change people, and they accept us warts and all too. We understand when they are having a bad day or acting out of character and they understand us. Real friends look beyond these things, accept us for who we are and love us anyhow. We give each other permission to be ourselves.

·         Friends Make and Accept Genuine Apologies - We understand and forgive if someone is genuinely sorry for any harm they caused us or if they were rude, and we make genuine apologies if we are in the wrong. We talk about what went wrong and try to do better next time. We are only human and all humans make mistakes.


·         Friends listen (most of the time) - When one of us is troubled we care enough to sit quietly together, and listen without judgement and interruptions. We don't make unwelcome suggestions and recommendations. We listen, make a cup of tea or open a bottle of wine and just be there for them and they do this for us.

·         Friends Don't Judge Each Other - We give and receive permission to be ourselves and are loved for who we are. We don't belittle or make constant suggestions how they can improve. We promote an environment of trust. We accept and treat each other as equals.

·         Friends Don't Abuse or Blame - They won't belittle, or swear or yell at you or blame you for anything that goes wrong in their own life. They would rather discuss and work through differences. They especially don't hit you. They don't encourage others to abuse you. They don't belittle you in front of others.

·         Friends don't try to control each other - We accept that we each will have our own desires, needs and opinions and welcome the fact.

·         Friends Have Fun Together - A friendship is hard to sustain if you can't have fun, laugh and explore the world together. No one is expected to be at your beck and call and you are free to manage your own time too, but you make time to have fun. You understand if they have family and work commitments, but if the friendship is only built on complaints and misery its time to consider whether its working for either of you.

If the people you see and the activities you engage in make you happy, excited, and inspired, nourish these and use them for inspiration and motivation to help you to achieve a worthwhile life.
Alternatively, if people or situations drain your energy and make you sad, tired, depressed, and dispirited, this is the catalyst to making decisions whether they should be in your life.
And don't forget life is a mirror? Are you a true friend?

__________________________

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